Tell her she can't have a vagina
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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