sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
