so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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