So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
