she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I want is dick and wine.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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