do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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