yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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