yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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