I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
