traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
