guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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