I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
