You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
