Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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