We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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