I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
