I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
