roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My life is pants optional.
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