She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
