I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
