I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
