it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
