Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
