he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
