clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
