Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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