He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
