hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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