You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
