So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
