Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
