Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
