erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
