i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
