Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
