You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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