but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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