I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
