You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
