Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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