just tell him i said nine months
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Michael Bay diarrhea
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
