Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
