i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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