I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
