I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize