Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize