I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
