porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
