When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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