woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
