Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
