u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
