Do you still have your period?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
